Stunts catch the eye, but feelings touch the heart.
What is passion? And what defines how much you love doing something?
I love dance because it can take me to places I've never been, leaving behind what I dread and detest. It lets me see things I've never seen and mould me to be more sensitive to what's around me. It spurs me to open up my heart, take things in and feel for them. It allows me to be embraced by the emotions of the dancers around me. It...
It makes me happy despite all the sweat.
Perhaps it's about time you clarify with yourself why you're doing what you're doing.
苏老师 said that after his most beloved and close batch of dancers, he'd tried to stop that attachment to his students. It hurts too much to see them leave, knowing that they've all grown up and things would take a big turn without them around. But then again, how do you stop attachment when it's a genuine feeling coming straight from the heart? It was the same when we left NYCD and it was equally heart wrenching for 老师. The similarities, the resemblance is all to familiar. That constant jabbing pangs of heartache will strike hard at that moment and gradually fade with time. It's sad how we miss the times and yet we have no way of going back, or no way of shielding yourself from eventual hurt.
Attachment -- it'll just come but what's most precious is that we learn to treasure it.
.i.WaNt.tO.fLy.wHeN.i.DaNcE. |11:24:00 PM| ++++++++
Enrichment week! The only other period of time I look forward to besides March Hols thus far and it's about to be over just like that?! NOOooOOoooooOOOoooOOoo0O..........
Monday: Arts Ed Talk(East West Gumbo), Cycling at Pulau Ubin
The talk was indeed entertaining and enriching, providing us with insights on this more uncommon dance -- Lindy Hop. It isn't exactly the kind of dance I'm into but I guess all forms of arts are linked and I'm sure that by sitting in for that talk, I've taken with me some knowledge and experience which I can apply to my own dancing. For example, I realised how important it is to be versatile in what you do and be clear headed about what dance you are dancing. There's no point in looking good while dancing when your Lindy Hop resembles Hip Hop more. That's my exact problem -- I can NEVER deliever a clear performance.
Cycling at Pulau Ubin rocked my socks! Besides catching up on some rusty cycling skills and revisting the island, we get to have fun within the gang and know more fun people! Wah I love that kind of slow mundane life on the island. It's like when you're cycling on the street, you can smile at any stranger and he/she will DEFINITELY smile back. The whole environment is so relaxing and welcoming that you can't sense a twinge on hostility. But the awful part about this trip was that Karen and I were separated from Ahma and Tiff! What the shhhit. Bleah and it rained cats and dogs during lunch so we had to cancel the rest of the trip. :( Nonetheless, it was enough to spur us on in organizing a trip to Pulau Ubin as a gang! Woohoo~
Tuesday: MOVIE!
Finally! Finally! After ages of planning and waiting, we got the chance to watch V FOR VENDETTA! If you haven't watched it, it's about time you do! It was such an engaging movie that Karen, Tiff, Deyao and I couldn't stop talking about it after it ended! V was so charming and I thought I heard the sound of glass breaking when he died. AHHHHHH, Heartache! :( Not only that, it was a thought-porvoking movie, leaving you replaying scenes after scenes and thinking about its relevence to the world you see today. Love it!C:
Wednesday: University Talks
Nothing much to say about this except Psycology seems damn attractive at the moment...
Thursday: Cooking at Sunrice
Wahahahaha, guess what?? We hiked up Fort Canning Hill today to this place called Sunrice (or something like that) to learn cooking! That cook made me try eating chilli padi! What the shhhit. Because I have limited tolerence for spicy food! It's like the first time in my life I ate chilli like that! Haha but come to think of it, it's really quite fun!C: Woohoo~ At least I did something new today! Hohooo, we made xiao long bao and rainbow dumplings! Tiff and I laughed our heads off at the coloured xiao long bao. DAMN funneh lar~ It was definitely worth the money! We get to eat our very own self-cooked food plus the people there were super approachable and nice to us!C: (I will never forget Karen and Tiff ogling and rattling about the high-tech stove like they were cavemen. :P)
Tomorrow would be my most busy day of the week. Despite being thoroughly exhausted, I'm still looking forward to it! C: CHEERLEADING. Wahaha, time to let your hair down and shout your head off while learning a few impressive stunts!:P Can't wait! Ahma, hopefully you don't break your bones! Hohoo~
Looking at the dance schedule for April, I find myself wondering how am I to cope with all these practices and activities? Juggling both the performance items and ballet exam, I wonder if I'm strong enough to hold through. I feel weak, like I'm never meant to do this. And a breakdown is heading my way. The mounting stress and exhaustion is pumping through my veins and I'm not sure if it'll burst one day. I'm not as good as you thought me out to be. And all things come in exchange of sweat and blood. I don't want to screw this up because it will be letting a lot of people down -- you, friends,....,me. Yes, I'm afraid.
It's a feat. And one that I must overcome.
Jac, you can do this.
For the people I love.
For the love of the one thing I love doing.
Give me the will to pull through.
.i.WaNt.tO.fLy.wHeN.i.DaNcE. |11:14:00 PM| ++++++++