*never lonely*
It's easy to be depressed when your mind is caught in a frenzy.
It's easy to be down when your heart is empty.
But it's easiest to be dejected when you pretend to be happy.
Everyone's got our own way of expressing ourselves and responding to things around us. No one can say that he/she is happy 24/7 without lying. We all have our own problems and unspeakable secrets, and most the time, we refuse to talk about it. Instead, we coop it all inside. Thinking that by doing so, people around us would be oblivious to these emotions. How terribly wrong.
When people don't ask you straight in the face "what's wrong?" or "are you alright?", it doesn't mean that they don't care. Asking your friends about your situation or getting someone else to approach you is also an expression of concern, just that you might not know of their little acts of concern. An encouraging smile or simply being able to feel their presence can also be a source of comfort in when you're not feeling all that up and about. Don't push them away and try to shut the world out. Locking yourself up from everybody else aren't going to take away your pain nor will it lessen their worry. And don't tell them that no one cares, because it'll hurt them hell a lot more than what you think.
鱼说：“你看不见我眼中的泪，因为我在水里。”
水说：“我感觉得到你眼中的泪，因为你在我心里。”
It's not that no one cares, it's just that you don't take it when they do. Or maybe you just need that wee bit of assurance from us whenever you say that and we deny it. But the truth is that we do! C:
前世五百次回眸，才能换来今天的擦身而过，
你我今生的相遇，又包含了前生多少的执著？
It's much more than fate that we can know each other and all the more we should learn to treasure. And so, no matter how you try to shun away from the world, I won't ever leave you in the lurch. You'll never be alone as long as I'm around. C:
I know I can be rather persistent sometimes and it might even turn people off. But I'm trying hard to be strong for everyone who needs me.
This time of the year aren't easy to pass by with exams around the corner. If you haven't shown some concern towards the people around you, it's about time. It means a lot. Trust me because I've been on both sides of the road.
世界上最远的距离不是天涯海角，
而是我在你身边，却从没走入你心里。
This entry is dedicated to those whom I care about -- my fellow dancers and friends, especially the three of you.
I want to thank everyone who has bothered about me! I don't know if I'm really exhausted-looking as you all described me to be, but I've taken your advice and ate Kit Kat.
And lastly, to end this entry on a lighter note, the following is for bailaoshu and vanilla:
有阳光的地方，就会有阴影；
上帝在赐予我们青春的同时，
也给了我们，
青春痘... C:
So stop worrying about your pimples! It goes to show that you are still young and youthful!
Let's see how useful I can make my blog: those who get to read this entry, try going around to all the different blogs and leave behind a tag or two telling your friends to jiayou or even giving them a *hugx! Make it happen and I'm sure those who read your tags will be a little happier and smile a little more!
TAke caRe everyone! And here's a BIG HUG from me! C:
.i.WaNt.tO.fLy.wHeN.i.DaNcE. |12:49:00 PM| ++++++++
*tear.*
"Just close you're eyes and you'll be here with me.
Just look to your heart and that's where I'll be.
If you just close your eyes till you're drifting away,
you'll never be too far from me
-- if you close your eyes."
And everytime, when I thought you really care, you simply walked away.
But now it doesn't matter anymore, because you'll never come back to me.
I'm not sad, really. I just need to be happy.
.i.WaNt.tO.fLy.wHeN.i.DaNcE. |10:28:00 PM| ++++++++
*In October...*
I've been thinking a lot about you lately especially since that time of the year is drawing near. It seemed almost funny why. And it is so silly that I'm blogging about it because you will never ever see this. I'm sorry but I really do need to vent this out here.
Two years seemed so long ago. Memories of you are being bleached by time. But even so, it doesn't mean that it won't hurt me anymore. In fact, nowadays, when it seemed like the end of the tunnel is near, I would look back and see one huge hole that was never quite repaired. And so I'll walk back, away from the light and back into darkness.
Regret is the worst kind of feeling you can get. Trust me, because it's been haunting me since then.
Woke up in the middle of the night, feeling flustered. WHY?
You probably didn't know how many promises you had broken. And the many many times that you lied to me. You didn't know how much I knew and you continued to let me down.
Many people probably know about this. It's no big secret anyway. But NO ONE will be able to understand what it was like. And so I find it lonely sometimes, because no one will be able to relieve my inner turmoil.
I don't know how much of it was real and how idiotic I've been if it isn't.
If I choose not to believe, will I learn to forget?
I'm still waiting for an explanation. A light to shed upon this darkness. And till then, I will still think about you.
.i.WaNt.tO.fLy.wHeN.i.DaNcE. |9:48:00 AM| ++++++++
*wonka!*
JOHNNY DEPP! *jac screams~~
You know it's never easy planning for an activity but then again all the work paid off! C: I wouldn't say it was all that successful but at least it wasn't cold all the way right? (please reassure me.) And in addition, I'm sure we got to know each other much better after this.
Okays, some updates about what happened... Our first stop was at KFC and now that was real bad! Everyone was shy and we all stuck to our own people and talked amongst ourselves. Then again, it isn't easy breaking ice. I was with mq at separate table and I was carefully monitoring the situation from behind. BUT they thought I was antisocial! Haha... Sorry peeps! I can't possibly leave her alone! OH and thomas gave me chocolate as promised! C: Yays! Then after a long long time, the ice finally melted and we proceeded to Toys 'R' Us!
I have to apologise to the guys again for this! I really have no idea what's their sense of gathering and having fun and we couldn't possibly go to a girls' shop so a kids' place seemed like the only way out UNLESS you all like going to Courts. Then I'll have nothing to say.
Through this experience, I've come to a realization. Never ever bring girls to Toys 'R' Us. They go crazy in there! Oh my god, goggling over elmo and flowers and chocolates! Oh and I found Ernie in a chicken suit! Haha~
So after that we went to the next shop that was in the same genre which is Kiddy Palace. Okays, I don't know what happened during this part of the gathering because I accompanied Suwan to go get tickets for the movie. But you know, Johnny Depp's just so charming so obviously the show's sold! C: Yes, so Suwan and her friend were quite upset. And everybody was just being so nice by offering their tickets to Suwan. In the end, Kaishi and Pee Hua gave up their tickets because they had to rush off somewhere! I'm sorry, will try to compensate you all another time for missing Charlie yea?
So after this I asked the guys where they wanted to go and we ended up at body shop. Strange indeed har? The smell was soooooooo absolutely strong! And the group of us were like blocking the front door of body shop. And we were joined by Suwan's friend, whose name I still don't know. Oooooops!
Ho was feeling a little tired and unwell, so I thought it'll be nice to take her to Famous Amos! Yums yums~ Dan bought her cookies! And Bailaoshu bought for everyone else! Oh oh oh! And surprise of all surprises, we met Justina! Wooo~ Too bad she couldn't join us for the movie, but it was still nice meeting her! I carried her and took photo again! Yups, I'm strong!
Okays, so finally we're going to the cinema to watch Charlie! C: (I can't stop smiling to myself now.) Yea, so in the row in front there was lotus, bailaoshu, ho, dan and er zi. In the back row, there was mq, me, vanilla, simeng, suwan and her friend. At first it was so boring! Mq finished her lollipop before the actual show started. Oh wells, it happens all the time for the both of us. The last time we watched don't know what movie, I finished my nachos. :S They simply have way too much advertisement! Okays, and finally the show started. I don't usually take note when they flash the producing film company and all the stars of the show. So when I unexpectedly saw JOHNNY DEPP in the middle of the huge screen, I screamed. And vanilla started laughing. And I thought he was the only one laughing until later when bailaoshu said that they were all laughing as well. Then when the title "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" flashed on the screen, they started going "Jacqueline, Jacqueline...." Lucky it was dark, and nobody could see my reddish brown face.
Ah, Charlie is a must watch! I bet youxin is nodding her head vigourously as she reads this line! C: And I was semi floating when they showed all the chocolates and chocolates and chocolates. aaaaaaaa~ and this is what I call "heaven walks on earth"! C: And I gasped when Wonka came in! Ahahaha he's hilarious! His funny song with the dolls ended up in fire. (Willy WOnka~Willy WoNka~) And especially when he walks straight into the glass elevator wall! And there's the grandma that's always in the wrong frequency and the grandpa who jumped outa bed shouting "Yipeeeeeeeeeeee!" and doing his funny tap dance! Oh oh oh and the oompa lompus dance! C:
Okays and so the show ended and all the dancers were all having difficulty walking because of all our knee and ankle problems. Mine was left knee and right ankle, Ho was left knee and Suwan was right knee.
Oh yea, we were so amazed by Suwan's friend because he is so turned out? That's unfair! Never mind, potential male dancer! Suwan, it's up to you! C:
Suwan and her friend and mq and Dan left. The rest of us decided to go for dinner. And so the guys decided that they want to eat at the foodcourt downstairs. So while they go look for seats, I thought I'll bring Ho upstairs to look at the studio! C: And we got to go and stretch a little and move a little and dance a little and talked a lot. I have no idea how long we took, but by the time we got downstairs, the guys finished eating. That's like fast! I thought the plates and utensils belonged to people before us and that the guys were trying to bluff us. But it was not so! Scary! Oh wells since we can't really eat that fast and with people looking at us eat, we asked them to go walk around on their own first. So while lotus, bailaoshu and vanilla went off, er zi stayed with us. I was so out of place when ho and him started talking "girls talk" -- periods. :S And I said, "I suddenly want to join the guys." In the end, we couldn't find anything to eat at the foodcourt so I decided to take Ho to MOS since I promised her! C:
Boy were the guys sweet to get Ho 小龙包 when she said she wanted some! Awwww~
And then we were all stoning in MOS when lotus and vanilla said they were leaving, followed by er zi. I was so uncomfortable and extra! And so I messaged vanilla to tell him about my ice cream treat! Whew lucky he came back! C: Yays! And we all went to eat ice cream together. Okays, the two of us were feeling very extra, but at least it's better than me feeling extra alone? Yea, so thank you vanilla! C:
And after all of this, we finally went home. I was so tired! I think I used up quite a lot of brain cells settling the tickets. Bleh, I'm always getting stressed up over tickets! Haha... Bailaoshu sent Ho home and I called him to talk to him while he made his own way home after that. Vanilla said that red would attract dirty stuff and well, better safe than sorry! Bailaoshu was like dressed in a chilli red top?
Yes, and that's the end of the gathering. Thanks everyone for being there and although it was not the most ideal kind of gathering, I hope you all gained some laughter and joy through it. C:
Sometimes things don't go as planned. And the unexpected always happens. Bad things do come together, but with that also comes the good stuff. C:
Happy National DAy! C:
I'm tired of waiting for you.
.i.WaNt.tO.fLy.wHeN.i.DaNcE. |3:08:00 PM| ++++++++